An overnight event in nature for 12-14 year old boys and their dads*

*Or significant male

First Fires

Next First Fires:

October 3rd-4th 2026 at Camp Kilsby, Manawatū

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What is First Fires?

The First Fires Initiation is an overnight event in nature for 12 to 14-year-old boys and a male mentor. Together we positively acknowledge the significance of transitioning from child to young adult.

We explore what it may mean for the boy to develop into a young man through  connection with others, activities, rituals, challenges and celebration. It offers some insight into the  responsibilities he is stepping into, and what this means for his whānau and community. We do this through exploring:

  • Connection

  • Challenge

  • Responsibility

  • Celebration

What happens at First Fires?

The First Fires Program follows a framework of:

  • Separation: We symbolically and physically separate from the outside world and the boy’s  childhood relationship with his mother, whānau, friends, and other influences like social media and  school. The community and our families send us off. 

  • Coming Together: We form a new group for the day (boys, young men, men), get to know each  other, play games and activities to deepen into the First Fires initiation journey and what it means.

  • Transition: We go through a process, a challenge, to help define the change in becoming a young  man. 

  • Reflection and Celebration: We celebrate the journey we have taken together.

  • Return: The young men are welcomed back on their return by whānau and community.

Who else will be there?

Fathers and caregivers: Please come to this event along with your boy. You will be at the event as a  witness to your boy’s process. There will be opportunities for you to explore some of your story of what  it is to be an adult and to support the whole experience. 

A First Fire initiation is a powerful time for a boy and male mentor (father, uncle, stepfather, grandfather,  family friend) to spend together. This is about the boy having someone to support him in bringing the  story and experience of First Fires home to his family and community as well as sharing a big experience  together.  

Families/Whānau, friends, community: Mothers / female caregivers, brothers, sisters, grandparents and  some of the community who have attended First Fires in previous years will also be present at the farewell  (separation) on Saturday morning and the welcome home (return) on Sunday morning. There will be a  chance for mother’s /female caregivers to say some words to the boys at the separation and the return. 

Our team: There will be a team of men (including young men who have completed the initiation), carefully  gathered to lead the boys through their Initiation.

First Fires 2026

First Fires Programs are held alternately in Taranaki and Manawatū. Fill out the form below to register your interest in upcoming events.

Program Details

October 3rd-4th at Camp Kilsby, Manawatū

Next Dates & Locations

Overnight

Event duration

A sliding scale $250 - $350 per boy/whānau pair based on what you can afford. 

[Note: A $100 non-refundable deposit is due with registration with the balance payable no later than 7 days before  the event.]

Pricing

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Other questions you may have

  • A First Fires initiation is available to boys aged 12- 14 years. At the age of 12 some boys are not yet  ready and by 14 some boys are not interested or resistant. It is crucial that boys understand what it is  about and aren’t resistant. The on-set of puberty, different for every boy, generally occurs between the  ages of 10-15. 

    The most important indicator of a boys’ readiness is found through conversation. One place to start is to  talk in general about the big changes that happen in everyone’s life. There are many changes relevant to  young men such as: puberty, changing or leaving school, relationships, making new friends or other life  changes they may have observed including starting work, divorce, death of a loved family member. 

  • Celebrate: Before the event there is an opportunity to celebrate the childhood of the boy. This could be  something like having a special meal with other family members like grandparents, or wider family, looking through old photos, telling stories, and referring to the event coming up. 

    Talk about the event: Make some time before the event to talk about what the First Fires Initiation means  to you as the caregivers. This can help to prepare the boy for the transition into manhood, in a new  relationship with all his family. 

    Make new agreements at home: You may also want to work towards a new set of agreements that will  take effect after the camp. This will assist with understanding the new level of responsibilities and  freedoms of being a young man. Below are some questions that are possible conversation starters to discuss in the lead up to the event.

  • • What do each of you think is the difference between a boy and a young man? 

    • What do each of you think are some of the indicators that a boy is becoming a young man?

    • What do each of you think are some of the needs of a young man? 

    • What sort of changes would each of you like to see in your lives as he becomes a young man?

    • How do you know when you have become a young man? 

    If the discussion focuses on a young man having more freedom, introduce the idea of responsibilities.  With increased freedom comes increased responsibility. 

    • What do each of you think are some of the responsibilities of a young man? 

    This conversation is now the foundation for other essential discussions and negotiations.  - If he engages with interested answers or attempts to answer, he is probably ready. - If he has no idea and the concepts are too much for him at the moment, he is probably not yet  ready. 

    If he is difficult to engage, maybe a family friend, other significant male or a Lifespan Rites  professional would be better placed to broach this topic.

Register Interest